Sunday, August 9, 2015

Richmond, VA

Merry meet Friends,
Michelle here, sending lots of love and light!

"As often happens on the spiritual journey, we have arrived at the heart of a paradox: each time a door closes, the rest of the world opens up.  All we need to do is stop pounding on the door that has just closed, turn around - which puts the door behind us - and welcome the largeness of life that now lies open to our souls.  The door that closed kept us from entering a room, but what now lies before us is the rest of reality."  ~ Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak

"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." ~ Paula Coehlo

"When God gives you a new beginning, it starts with an ending.  Be thankful for closed doors, they often guide us to the right one!" ~ A Woman of Faith

"When one door closes, another opens but we often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." ~ Alexander Graham Bell

Well no surprise here, as one can see, I'm pondering endings and beginnings.  Life is a series of them....but as the quotes above state..we miss the openings sometimes.  I'm transitioning into something else; someone else, or maybe not someone else but the "me" I've always been but am now beginning to manifest.  Outer changes are happening because of inner changes.  It is definitely a paradox because sometimes I don't recognize me yet I know this me.  For sixteen years I've had a nose piercing.  I always wore a stud.  Three weeks ago, I had a second nose piercing done beside the first one.  I took out the original stud and put in a nose hoop.  It felt right, absolutely right.  It felt and looked like a "me" I had forgotten.  The winds of change are blowing and calling my name.

Last Sunday morning after writing the blog, I went to the bathroom to shower.  I was meeting a friend for brunch.  As I reached for my sponge, I slipped.  I shower everyday so what caused me to slip?  I fell down and then hit my head on the tile, pulling the shower curtain down along with me.  I didn't black out because I remember asking myself if I were going to black out.  LOL  Anyway, my head hurt and although there was no knot, there was a red patch in the back of my head.  I was very shaken up by the entire incident.  I read the symptoms of a concussion and didn't feel as if I had one. On Tuesday, I felt woozy and went to the ER.  The doctor checked my ears and discovered that I had fluid buildup behind my left ear. I mentioned to the doctor that I thought it was sinus and a fluid buildup; it usually happens to me once a year.  I was given a CT scan and it was negative.  Thank God/Goddess/All That Is!  I believe the "craziness" that I felt that early Sunday Morning a few weeks ago, was because of the fluid...still I'm not drinking though.

After being off for nine days, I went back to work on Thursday for eight hours, Friday and Saturday for twelve hours and today for eight.  It was rough.  It's good to be off for awhile but hard to get back into the groove sometimes.  I was supposed to have the same type of schedule this week but am working for a woman on Friday, then was asked by the director to work on the 17th.  I have my daughter Tiffany's sewing machine and have decided to start sewing again.  The Yoruba reading I had, said that I needed to engage my creativity which would eliminate the depression/oppression I had been feeling.  I am also entering into a partnership with Mishi McCoy of Mishi's Gathering of the Wild and Mystical.  I'm very excited to work with her and Beverly Loving.  It's a time of newness; a time of endings and beginnings.  

I like my job and the flexibility of the hours.  I don't know if things will change when the new company takes over but for now it's fine. However the winds of change are calling this gypsi mama.  I don't know why I am always so restless!  I had to have been a gypsy in a previous life, I had to have been!  I am always wanting change of some kind; always wanting to see another place, be exposed to other cultures.  I'm not sure what's going to happen in my life, who does know?, but I do know that change is coming, things are ending and things are beginning.  I will not stand and look at the closed door, I will turn around and "welcome the largeness of life that now lies open to my soul".

Until next Sunday,
Merry part and merry meet again, 
Blessed be,
Gypsi Mama Michelle

    


Sunday, August 2, 2015

Richmond, VA

Merry meet friends!
Michelle here, bringing lots of love and light!

"When a path opens before us that leads we know not where, don't be afraid to follow it.  Our lives are meant to be mysterious journeys, unfolding one step at a time. ...Don't be afraid to lose your way.  Out of chaos, clarity will eventually arise.  Out of not knowing, something new and unknown will ultimately come.  Do not order things too swiftly.  Wait and the miracle will appear. ~ Anne Mortifee, In Love with the Mystery

"You are the laboratory and every day is an experiment.  Go and find what is new and unexpected." ~ Joel Elkes

I apologize for my absence the past two weeks.  Two Sundays ago, I wasn't feeling well.  I awakened around 1:00am feeling weird.  I was in no pain but I felt "not right".  My son and his friend were visiting.  I knew they were going to church later so I didn't want to disturb him but he heard me.  He asked what was wrong.  I told him that I didn't know; I just felt "off" or crazy. (crazier than usual, I might add).  We talked for awhile (I believe he was praying), I took an aspirin and went back to bed.  My nose started running and at that point I believed it was sinuses.  I immediately felt better, having an idea at least of what it could be, and told Jason. The rest of the early morning passed without incident.  I took two sinus pills (I hate medicine) and felt somewhat better.

Jason's father and I were going to go to DC since Jason was stopping there overnight before heading back to New York.  Traffic was horrendous and so we turned around.  I was glad because I still didn't feel too well and I was having a reading later.  Rev.  DeShannon Bowens is a Yoruba Priestess and an Interfaith/Interspiritual minister from OSIS.  I had two previous readings: one in 2012 or 2013 and another in 2014.  DeShannon never asks what the issues are, she just does her thing.  She has always been on point with me.  Many parts of the readings have been confirmations and in some other parts new information comes to light.  I am grateful that Spirit had me meet her through seminary.

Last Sunday I opened the computer to type the blog and my apps wouldn't pop up!  The computer wouldn't shut down and I didn't know what was happening.  I tried to type on my phone, I did that Mother's Day, but this time it wouldn't give me the font I wanted. When I got the geek squad on the phone, the solution was simple; I hadn't shut the laptop completely off the last time I used it.  All I had to do was hold the power button for a few seconds, leave it off a few seconds more and then reboot.  By that time though I had to go to work.  My intent was to post later that night or early Monday but that didn't happen.  I have learned to go with the flow...if it doesn't happen at the time then maybe it's not meant to happen at that moment.  Last Sunday was the start of a new pay period and my last day working until August 6th.  It's just the way the schedule was written.  Usually someone calls out and I'm given a call but not this past week...so I took that as a sign that I needed to work on me. 

I started exercising again this past week; walking, jogging, squats and crunches.  Consistency is the key and as my daughter, Zakiya says, the body remembers.  It wasn't as hard as I thought.  I'm back to the way that I ate in bootcamp while in LA.  I haven't been drinking because the night I felt "crazy", I had a glass of Prosecco before retiring and I don't know if that caused the weirdness along with sinus or if it was just the sinus but either way, it scared me. I'm headed to a wine festival on the 15th but I will just enjoy the band. I have also been meditating and contemplating more.  A spiritual practice keeps me grounded and trust me, I need to be grounded. The insights and revelations gained from this practice are astounding.  I am also practicing not becoming annoyed by anything or anyone; that can be hard but it's not the persons or situations, it's my consciousness.  

My last post was about the restlessness and the one before about the sadness I've been feeling.  Based on the reading I had and the above quotes, I am allowing the "mysteries" to take place as they will.  I don't know what's around the corner but I'm not in fear of whatever it is.  I had been feeling that I had lost my way and that I didn't know who I was, what I was supposed to be doing or where i was headed.  My friend Celeste felt the sadness was due to depression but I didn't feel depressed, then DeShannon touched on depression as well.  "Out of the mouths of two or three witnesses...."  Maybe that's the trick of depression, for one not to know...at any rate, "out of chaos, clarity will eventually arise",  as stated above.  Life is a mystery and it is gloriously unfolding one step at a time.  We, ourselves, are mysteries.  We each unfold, second by second, minute by minute and so forth.  We discover new things about ourselves and other things we've forgotten.  We let some things and people go and embrace others.  "Don't be afraid to lose your way......Wait and the miracle will appear."  We are the miracles!

Until next Sunday, (hopefully)
Merry part and merry meet again,
Blessed be,
Gypsi Mama Michelle