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Sunday, May 29, 2016

Richmond, VA/Intuition

Merry meet friends!
Michelle here, bringing lots of love and light!

"I believe in intuitions and inspirations...I sometimes FEEL that I am right.  I do not KNOW that I am."  ~ Albert Einstein

"Don't try to comprehend with your mind.  Your minds are very limited.  Use your intuition." ~ Madeleine L'Engle, A Wind in the Door (A Wrinkle in Time Quintet, #2)

"Intuition is seeing with the soul." ~ Dean Koontz

"Intuition is a sense of knowing how to act spontaneously, without needing to know why." ~ Sylvia Clare, Trusting Your Intuition: Rediscover Your True Self to Achieve a richer, More Rewarding Life

Last Sunday I was to travel to Black Mountain, NC to attend the SEWW Herbal Immersion.  I last attended in May of 2014 after I left Earthaven.  I met some amazing women and was looking forward to reconnecting with some of them and some from the conference in October, 2014.  The experience, for me, was life altering and I wanted to be in that vibrational energy once again.  I knew the car I am using wouldn't make the 5-6 hour drive.  I thought about renting a car but I needed to think of the expense, especially with the job situation.

My oldest son had a situation on May 24th, I didn't want to participate and decided not to do so.  I prayed and meditated about attending the Immersion..  I knew if being at the Immersion was the plan, then somehow a way would be made.  As much as I wanted to attend there was, however, a hesitance in my spirit. When Sunday came there was no solution forthcoming for me to attend the Immersion. I still was not planning to participate in my son's situation.  On the morning of the 24th, I awakened knowing that my presence would have an effect in his situation.  I went and it did.  

Sometimes we don't know the why of a thing, we just know we must follow the leads given.  We can call it a hunch, discernment, a still small voice or intuition.  What we call it doesn't matter.  It's what we do when we feel, sense or hear the "thing".  Many times I have said, "Something told me to do or say that."  I don't always immediately pay attention but I am paying attention more than I used to.  Intuition will never lead one astray.  It's easier for me to follow when I feel something as opposed to hearing something.  I will, on occasion, think what I am hearing is me.  In reality, it is GOD/GODDESS/ALL THERE IS as me. 

Prayer and meditation is one way of getting the answers that are needed.  Being still and listening helps us to understand ourselves better.  Intuition, though, does not always wait for the stillness.  It comes in moments we least expect it.  Being attuned to Spirit will help us to recognize it when it appears and to pay attention.  I'm glad that I paid attention to the sense and feeling I had pertaining to my son's situation.  The Immersion is held every year and I will attend again.  If the women I met before aren't there when I next attend, I will meet others.  I didn't know those women before meeting them.

Intuition is what I need to trust when it comes to my job situation. I definitely need more income than SS if I am to keep this apartment. My lease is up at the end of September and the job is expected to last that long.  Everyone has been applying for the jobs that are similar to ours as soon as they post.  I have not felt led to apply as yet.  Intuitively I feel as if I am not to apply.  I have no idea why other than maybe Spirit trying to get me to work for myself.
Whatever the reason, if indeed it is my intuition, I want to follow it. I am interested to see where this path might take me.  I would love to live in a tiny house and travel wherever and whenever I choose, working from my laptop.  We shall see!

I've met someone who lives on his boat and is a fellow gypsy.  I love his lifestyle.  I applaud anyone who decides to take his/her life in hand and follow their heart.  I feel the call of the wind beckoning me to follow.  "Go with the flow", it's saying, "Let me blow you where I will."  "OK", I answer, "soon very soon!"

Until next Sunday,
Merry part and merry meet again,
Gypsi Mama Michelle

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Richmond, VA/ Fear and Transition

Merry meet Friends!
Michelle here, bringing lots of love and light!

"The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear." ~ Brian Tracy

"Everything you want is on the other side of fear." ~ Unknown

"You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." ~  Intent Blog

Last night, May 21st, in addition to being my youngest son's birthday, was the full moon.  The moon is in Sagittarius, my sun sign and the sun is in Gemini, my moon sign.  To top that off, Mercury goes direct today!  Whew!  As a Sagittarius with a Gemini moon, I am always restless anyway; with the moon and the sun's placement, it seems a double whammy.  It does have its advantages though.  I'm thinking but I also want action.

I am facilitating a workshop on June 18th.  It seems as if once I actually set it up, even though it hasn't happened yet, I now have the courage to look into other things that I desire to do.  I have always had ideas floating around but now I intend to implement them.  Fear is not my friend!  While I want to give the information in the workshop, I'm doing it more for me.  This is a step that I must take in order to overcome my fears.  We teach what we need to learn.

Somehow I intuitively know that this time I will actually act on my dreams.  One of my problems has been that I would visualize the entire event in my head, which would then lead me to all sorts of things that could go wrong.  I would end up not doing anything. W. Clement Stone said, "Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will."  I realize that we must think and I am a thinker, but over thinking has been a detriment to me.  All I need do is take the first step.  Taking that step will allow me to see all else.  

When we decide to move forward on our dreams, the Universe will and does conspire to help.  Doors will open that one didn't know existed.  I am so grateful to live in this loving Universe.  I have found that once we put it out there help is available.  So I am focusing on my desires and not my fears.  As I focus on what I desire, more desires surface and more opportunities become available.  I am open and receptive to all Spirit has for me!, is my affirmation daily.  

I have stated that I'm in transition and I am.  Sometimes we don't want to transition into the next phase of our life.  We can become comfortable where we are but transitions take us higher.  We expand our consciousness and grow into our best selves.  It may not feel that way at first but if we go with the flow and where it takes us, we will end up in a beautiful place. We all wish to expand our consciousness and become more of our God selves, don't we?  I know I do!  Let's become fearless and fly!  

Until next Sunday, 
Merry part and merry meet again,
Blessed be,
Gypsi Mama Michelle

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Richmond, VA/ Growth

Merry meet Friends!
Michelle here, bringing lots of love and light!

"Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don't even recognize that growth is happening...Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed." ~ Alice Walker

"It is always the simple things that change our lives.  And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen.  Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so.  You feel like running, but life is on a stroll.  This is how God does things." ~ Donald Miller

I am entering another phase of my life so I understand well what Alice Walker is saying in the above quote.  When we begin to realize that the growth period, which can seem as if nothing is happening, is actually preparing us for the next phase, we begin to look for them. Questions arise about what this phase will reveal.  Who am I becoming?  What will I do?  This is frightening and exhilarating at the same time.  The possible loss of my job has me thinking about the next steps for my life.

 My job is being phased out but the new job title is exactly what we do now.  The new title is Peer Recovery Coach and full time.  The pay is much  higher than the current rate.  I am not interested in a full time position.  There is a part time position entitled Crisis Triage Center Peer Specialist. My volunteer work with Safe Harbor qualifies me for this position.  The hours are flexible and the pay rate is higher than the recovery coach.  I believe I would like this work and it would afford me the opportunity to work on my own business.

My passion is to work with women.  I intend to do this via facilitating workshops, seminars, and retreats.  I have an upcoming workshop on June 4, 2016, entitled "Step Into Your Dreams".  There is a saying that says: "We teach what we most need to learn."  I think that's fitting because we understand what individuals are feeling. Essentially we are teaching ourselves as well.  I certainly will be. Fear has, for the most part, kept me from doing what I strongly desire to do.  The fear hasn't so much been a lack of confidence in my abilities as it has been wondering what others might think.  If I continue with that line of thinking I would never do anything.

Here are the questions that I ask myself.  Do you have a strong desire to do this?  Are you capable of doing this?  Do you think it has benefit to your audience?   The answers to all of the questions are YES!  Each time I feel any doubt or fear I ask myself the questions again.  I will continue to do so until the event, if the fear continues.  Doing this workshop is a dream of mine.  I am "stepping into my dreams", at least one of them.  Experiencing doubt and fear and overcoming them gives me the experience, as it were, to aid others in doing the same.  

I wasn't able to attend the workshop in Maryland on Saturday that I wanted to attend because there was no one to work in my place. The workshop was with Sage-ing International.  The title was Awakening the Sage Within.  The organization deals with conscious aging.  I would like to facilitate a wisdom circle here in Richmond. The workshop isn't required but I wanted to have more information. I still plan to facilitate the circle.  I have all of the documents necessary.  The simple things will change our lives.  A chance reading of something will provide an opportunity previously unknown when one wasn't looking for it. 

On Friday I went to DC to measure the staircase at the venue for my daughter's wedding.  She has a vision of what she wants to see upon entering.  Since I am an artsy/crafty person, I can assist her in making it come true and save her additional expense. We can't decorate until 2pm and the wedding is at 5.  She doesn't want me to undertake too much (I'm doing the bouquets) and not be dressed in time.  Of course I feel as if I can do it all. LOL  I enlisted the help of a friend to come up and do it, with my help if needed.  I'm mentioning this because making the bouquets and decorating a portion of the venue is an opportunity to earn money in the future and feeds that creative crafty side.

I believe it's the Korean culture that says at 60 one becomes a child again and should only have joy in their lives.  I'm all for that!  I anticipate a joyful future doing what I love and using the gifts that God/Goddess/All That Is have given as I "step into my dreams". Won't you do the same regardless of age?

Until next Sunday,
Merry part and merry meet again,
Blessed be,
Gypsi Mama Michelle

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Richmond,VA Mother's Day

Merry meet Friends!
Michelle here, bringing lots of love and light!

"Beautify your inner dialogue. Beautify your inner world with love, light and compassion.  Life will be beautiful." ~ Amit Ray, Nonviolence: The Transforming Power

"Inner guidance is heard like soft music in the night by those who have learned to listen." ~ Vernon Howard

"When you trust your inner guidance and begin moving in the direction of your dreams (aligned with your individual gifts) you will be cloaked in an armor bestowed upon you by your guardian angel." ~ Charles F. Glassman

"Keep on questioning.  Keep on searching." ~ Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind

Happy Mother's Day to all who nurture and mother!
Happy Mother's Day to Gaia, our planet Earth that sustains us!

I have a mother and I am a mother.  I have four beautiful children, 2 boys and 2 girls; I should say 2 men and 2 women because they are adults.  I treat them as such but they are still my babies.  They gave me the gift of motherhood, and I am and always will be eternally grateful that they chose this wild, unpredictable, crazy and unstable at times, intelligent, seeker of truth, empathic being called Michelle to be birthed through.  We teach our children but they also teach us. Sometimes I believe we learn more about being humane and about ourselves through them than they learn from us.

I realized last week that some of my sadness is due to my daughter's upcoming marriage.  I'm not sad about her marriage or her mate.  In analyzing it, I determined that it's about her stepping into another phase of her life which makes me think about the next phase of mine.  My oldest son has been married twice but I was so much younger then, and he is my son.  I'm guessing the feeling is different with daughters or maybe it's just my age.  As she enters this next phase of her life, it raises all sorts of questions about my next phase. How do I plan to spend this next portion of my life?  What is it that I truly desire?  What gifts and talents do I wish to use for the betterment of myself and others?  Will I use them?

Changes are happening everywhere, we are all in a state of transition.  Mercury and other planets are in retrograde.  Life is happening through us not to us.  What is it that we want to come through?  What do I want to come through me?  I've been practicing listening to and for clues that life provides.  I started this practice based on Mark Nepo's book: Seven Thousand Ways to Listen.  Mark says, "What often starts as a moment of unexpected feeling that startles us becomes, if leaned into, a deeper way of knowing."  The sadness I've been feeling was unexpected but it is leading me to uncover some things about me.  Listening to the sadness can propel me into the next phase of my life.  

I receive emails from various organizations.  Some I read and some I trash.  Last week something made me read one before I trashed it. I'm glad I did.  It's leading me to a workshop in Maryland that will lead me to forming something else.  More details after I attend the workshop.  The point is that I stopped to listen to my inner voice and that led to something.  Opportunities will present themselves when we ask the Universe for answers.  I'm not always sure where something will lead me but that's the beauty of the journey.  We can think a thing is leading us one place and we end up finding our"true north".

I'm glad I "stumbled" upon the book by Mark Nepo.  It came at the exact moment that I needed it.  I listen to my inner guidance but I don't/didn't always follow the signs that life would present.  Mark wrote about making plans for a particular day that he had free to do nothing, which he wanted to do, but then began filling it with "things".  He became overwhelmed that he wouldn't have the time to get them done.  As he pumped gas, a bird landed near him then flew off.  He decided to follow the bird.  Whether he actually followed the bird or it was a metaphor for following life clues, makes no difference.  He listened.  Michael Beckwith ministered the same thing a few Sundays ago.  Pay attention to the clues which are everywhere.  Spirit has been trying to get my attention for quite some time with this.  

I recall two of my favorite movies, Fools Rush In and Under the Tuscan Sun stating the same thing.  Clues or signs are everywhere if we /I just pay attention!  Listen, watch, see and hear what Spirit speaks through everyday subtle things we take for granted.  It will make a world of difference.  By the way, I received a package from Colorado which contained old jewelry.  There is no return address.  I have no idea who sent it.  A sign of something, perhaps?

Until next Sunday,
Merry part and merry meet again,
Blessed be,
Gypsi Mama Michelle

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Richmond, VA Transitions

Merry meet Friends!
Michelle here, bringing lots of love and light!

"A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are.  Embrace the change, no matter what it is; once you do, you can learn about the new world you're in and take advantage of it." ~ Nikki Giovanni

"Times of transition are strenuous, but I love them.  They are an opportunity to purge, rethink priorities, and be intentional about new habits.  We can make our new normal any way we want. ~ Kristin Armstrong

"I suppose whenever you go through periods of transition, or in a way, it's a very definite closing of a chapter of your life - I suppose those times are always going to be both very upsetting and also very exciting by the very nature because things are changing and you don't know what's going to happen." ~ Daniel Radcliffe

"Life is one big transition." ~ Willie Stargell

Blessed Beltane, Northern Hemisphere!  Blessed Samhain Southern Hemisphere!

May Day!  When I was in school we danced around the May Pole.  I daresay the schools didn't know they were practicing an ancient Celtic holiday and one of fertility, no less.  What fun it was though! After elementary school, the next time I danced the Maypole was in Earthhaven in 2014.  I also jumped the Beltane fire with Corinna Woods to signify future partnership and luck.  It was a festive day and one I will never forget.I wrote about it in this blog in May 2014.  
I was undergoing a transition during that time and I am undergoing one now.  Perhaps Beltane is that time of year for me. It is a time of reaping wealth from the seeds which have been sown.  I can see why I get restless at this time; I want to reap. Whatever has been sown is waiting to burst through. Oddly enough August is when things seem to change in my life.  Llamas, a festival celebrating the first fruits of the harvest is in August.  Once again, a reminder that my life is tied to The Wheel of the Year.  

Transitions are always happening in our lives.  Sometimes we are aware and sometimes we are not.  When it's due to something major we are more aware.  It's the subtle things that can throw us off guard. "Sometimes the transition from being in control of your life to having no control is swift, but other times it is so gradual that you wonder exactly when it truly began." said Mickey Rooney.  Sometimes it begins with restlessness or dissatisfaction with the way things are. William Throsby Bridges says it this way: "Disenchantment, whether it is a minor disappointment or a major shock, is the signal that things are moving into transition in our lives."  

I can usually tell when I am transitioning.  If I'm working, the job doesn't hold the same appeal that it once did, as is the case with me now.  I will also feel sad or unhappy. I wrote this in my journal on April 25th:
     Happiness is a temporary feeling.  It comes and goes...up one day, hour, minute and down the next.  I can choose to be happy regardless of the circumstances I may be facing, knowing that 'this too shall pass/'  Yet I am NOT happy.  I know that things will usually work themselves out.  I also know that 'all things work together for good for those that love GOD and are called for GOD's purpose'.  I love GOD and my belief is that we are all called...therefore everything in my life is working together, not just for my good but the highest good of all.  Yet, I am NOT happy.  I'm going through another "dark night of the soul" as coined by St. John of the Cross in his eight stanza poem.
I wish for this job to be over NOW, not June or July, NOW.  I don't desire this type of  work anymore, noble though it may be.  I'm burnt out and worn down.  The energy field from the clients can be overwhelming, especially without a break for 8 hours.  I dread coming to work.  I don't look forward to it as I once did.  I don't have the energy anymore.  My soul and spirit are crying for something else but I'm not sure what that is.
What would make my spirit soar? What would make my soul sing? Experts say we already know the answer.

I can't be there for the clients 100% as long as I feel this way.  I don't treat them any differently but the ones closest to me will ask if something is wrong.  They can see it, I believe. I have decided to be a part of the ministry my friend is forming.  I am also planning to utilize my gifts, before I'm not able to do so, in my own ventures.  I am basically self taught through reading although I hold several certificates from classes, programs and workshops.  I don't have a degree though and it undermines my confidence slightly.  I know what I know and what I am capable of doing but the "world" will sometimes want more credentials than I have.  Spirit is calling me to come forth however so I must not let fear paralyze me.  I must step out on faith, trusting that if Spirit calls me then Spirit qualifies me.

Transition, transition, transition!  Strenuous, as stated in the above quote yet I do love them.  A time to grow and be more of who we are.

Until next Sunday,
Merry part and merry meet again, 
Blessed be,
Gypsi Mama Michelle