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Sunday, August 2, 2015

Richmond, VA

Merry meet friends!
Michelle here, bringing lots of love and light!

"When a path opens before us that leads we know not where, don't be afraid to follow it.  Our lives are meant to be mysterious journeys, unfolding one step at a time. ...Don't be afraid to lose your way.  Out of chaos, clarity will eventually arise.  Out of not knowing, something new and unknown will ultimately come.  Do not order things too swiftly.  Wait and the miracle will appear. ~ Anne Mortifee, In Love with the Mystery

"You are the laboratory and every day is an experiment.  Go and find what is new and unexpected." ~ Joel Elkes

I apologize for my absence the past two weeks.  Two Sundays ago, I wasn't feeling well.  I awakened around 1:00am feeling weird.  I was in no pain but I felt "not right".  My son and his friend were visiting.  I knew they were going to church later so I didn't want to disturb him but he heard me.  He asked what was wrong.  I told him that I didn't know; I just felt "off" or crazy. (crazier than usual, I might add).  We talked for awhile (I believe he was praying), I took an aspirin and went back to bed.  My nose started running and at that point I believed it was sinuses.  I immediately felt better, having an idea at least of what it could be, and told Jason. The rest of the early morning passed without incident.  I took two sinus pills (I hate medicine) and felt somewhat better.

Jason's father and I were going to go to DC since Jason was stopping there overnight before heading back to New York.  Traffic was horrendous and so we turned around.  I was glad because I still didn't feel too well and I was having a reading later.  Rev.  DeShannon Bowens is a Yoruba Priestess and an Interfaith/Interspiritual minister from OSIS.  I had two previous readings: one in 2012 or 2013 and another in 2014.  DeShannon never asks what the issues are, she just does her thing.  She has always been on point with me.  Many parts of the readings have been confirmations and in some other parts new information comes to light.  I am grateful that Spirit had me meet her through seminary.

Last Sunday I opened the computer to type the blog and my apps wouldn't pop up!  The computer wouldn't shut down and I didn't know what was happening.  I tried to type on my phone, I did that Mother's Day, but this time it wouldn't give me the font I wanted. When I got the geek squad on the phone, the solution was simple; I hadn't shut the laptop completely off the last time I used it.  All I had to do was hold the power button for a few seconds, leave it off a few seconds more and then reboot.  By that time though I had to go to work.  My intent was to post later that night or early Monday but that didn't happen.  I have learned to go with the flow...if it doesn't happen at the time then maybe it's not meant to happen at that moment.  Last Sunday was the start of a new pay period and my last day working until August 6th.  It's just the way the schedule was written.  Usually someone calls out and I'm given a call but not this past week...so I took that as a sign that I needed to work on me. 

I started exercising again this past week; walking, jogging, squats and crunches.  Consistency is the key and as my daughter, Zakiya says, the body remembers.  It wasn't as hard as I thought.  I'm back to the way that I ate in bootcamp while in LA.  I haven't been drinking because the night I felt "crazy", I had a glass of Prosecco before retiring and I don't know if that caused the weirdness along with sinus or if it was just the sinus but either way, it scared me. I'm headed to a wine festival on the 15th but I will just enjoy the band. I have also been meditating and contemplating more.  A spiritual practice keeps me grounded and trust me, I need to be grounded. The insights and revelations gained from this practice are astounding.  I am also practicing not becoming annoyed by anything or anyone; that can be hard but it's not the persons or situations, it's my consciousness.  

My last post was about the restlessness and the one before about the sadness I've been feeling.  Based on the reading I had and the above quotes, I am allowing the "mysteries" to take place as they will.  I don't know what's around the corner but I'm not in fear of whatever it is.  I had been feeling that I had lost my way and that I didn't know who I was, what I was supposed to be doing or where i was headed.  My friend Celeste felt the sadness was due to depression but I didn't feel depressed, then DeShannon touched on depression as well.  "Out of the mouths of two or three witnesses...."  Maybe that's the trick of depression, for one not to know...at any rate, "out of chaos, clarity will eventually arise",  as stated above.  Life is a mystery and it is gloriously unfolding one step at a time.  We, ourselves, are mysteries.  We each unfold, second by second, minute by minute and so forth.  We discover new things about ourselves and other things we've forgotten.  We let some things and people go and embrace others.  "Don't be afraid to lose your way......Wait and the miracle will appear."  We are the miracles!

Until next Sunday, (hopefully)
Merry part and merry meet again,
Blessed be,
Gypsi Mama Michelle

3 comments:

  1. "Don't be afraid to lose your way...". As you know, I lost my way, literally, last week and it was scary as hell but I needed that to shake me awake. I realized recently that I am quickly forgetting everything that my $48,000 master's degree has empowered me with so I quickly reached out to Liz Cramer (my grad school advisor). She is teaching one of my favorite classes this semester - Social Work and Social Justice - so I will be a frequent visitor. My health is too unpredictable to teach solo anymore, nor do I need/want to be on the payroll, but I'll sub in a pinch and to do that I need to get back in the game - as a bench warmer no doubt.

    Exercise is next on my agenda. My insurance includes a free YMCA membership so silver sneakers here I come. .

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  2. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I too have recently experienced a spontaneous combustion of feeling lost and found simultaneously. The waiting periods can often cast a shadow on the saying, 'in the mean time' as it can feel harsh. I feel as we learn to hold that space as a holy and sacred time of stillness and silence then we are most aware and appreciative of the golden chalices of our hearts being forged within us. We are filled and running over with the water of Life and Love to heal ourselves and therefore, the world. I love you, Gypsi Mama Michelle

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Mishi. I love you too. Yes, silence and stillness. Enjoyed our talk the other night.

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