Merry meet Friends!
Michelle here sending lots of love and light!
I've spent this last week meditating on the word journey. During the week I felt alone, not lonely but very alone. I know that I'm not. I am supported by many friends and family members, even if I weren't, Spirit is always with me. Yet, I felt very alone. Regardless of how many people may understand what one is doing, unless one experiences it for one's self, it feels alone.
So as I meditated on the word journey I realized that we are all on some type of journey, or have been or will be. The word journey means: traveling from place to place for an extended period of time. We don't have to physically travel to journey. Many journeys are inward and lead us to another place. It's because of my inward journey that I'm on a physical journey.
Of course because I'm traveling alone, I knew I'd be alone but this felt, oh, "je ne sais quoi". I began to question Spirit as to whether or not I'd heard correctly, was I crazy to do this? (I may be crazy regardless but...) I even wondered why I used the word gypsy because gypsies travel in a caravan, not alone. Then I saw the old gypsy woman driving the wagon in the Lon Chaney werewolf movies. I realized that whether traveling alone or with a group, we still make the journey alone, at least inwardly.
I believe this feeling was brought on by the realization that I have no home in VA. Yes I have places to stay but no base, no roots. The feeling was further developed because Laurie, whose home I visited, has similar decorating taste as mine. This caused me to think about the possessions I lost in storage. Needless to say I cried a lot in Greensboro. I even heard myself think: I wish I had someone to talk to, and of course I do, but none the less, the thought was there.
On Wednesday I found out that my two youngest children were going to Richmond on Friday for the holiday. I decided that maybe I should go and see them because I didn't know when I might see them again. I was hesitant because I'd have to leave on Sunday (today) for the Spring Herbal Immersion and that's a long drive. I decided to take the trip anyway and left on Thursday morning to surprise them. I drove non stop for three hours until I reached my friend Millie's house. She knew I was coming along with my friend Celeste and my sister Net with whom I would spend the night.
I visited with Millie for awhile, then went to see my oldest son Donnie, then visited with Celeste who cooked a meal for me (thank you), then my friend Iris and finally my sister. I felt antsy in each place after awhile and didn't really know why. Visiting with my friends felt as if I'd never left, we picked right up as friends would. I thought it was good that I had come because seeing friends and family could/would fortify me for the next leg of the journey. I felt displaced being in Richmond however.
I didn't get to see the children until Friday night because, not knowing I was in VA, they, along with their father, made a day out of being in DC. They visited the MLK memorial and the Viet Nam memorial. So I spent most of Friday with my sister, saw Donnie again and went back to Iris' house for awhile. As I visited with her, she had an exchange with her granddaughter. She then turned to me and said, "Nothing's changed". We laughed and continued with our visit. I was supposed to go out with friends on Friday night and attend a birthday cook out on Saturday but I didn't. It felt "right" to stay with the children.
When I thought about the statement that nothing had changed, I knew for me that that wasn't true. I had changed. Doing the same things and having the same experiences will keep us the same but journeying of any kind will change us. I think that's why I felt displaced, I am different. It may not be noticeable except when I speak about GMO's and organic foods, but I have changed in my awareness and consciousness.
In September 2012, Rev. DeShannon Bowen, an Interfaith minister and Yoruba priestess, gave me a reading. I had a question about whether to stay in VA or move to California. During one of the readings. it was discovered that turtle was my totem. That meant that like a turtle, I carried my home on my back. It didn't matter where I lived, home is always with me, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. This reading was before cancer, losing the apartment, the possessions or the journey. So now I will keep this thought in my consciousness, and whenever I feel as if I have no home, I will know that it's with me always. The universe is my home! By the way, in case you haven't, check out google plus for my page, Wild Woman Gypsi, for pictures and postings.. Join my circle to see more. Thanks for reading my musings.
I'm headed for the Immersion so....
Until next Sunday,
Merry part and merry meet again,
Gypsi Mama Michelle