Richmond, VA

Merry meet Friends!
Michelle here, bringing lots of love and light!

"Be gentle with yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  You may not be perfect, but you are all you've got to work with.  The process of becoming who you will be begins first with the total acceptance of who you are.." ~ Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English

"When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty, but of her weirdness.  They wanted her to change back into what she had been.  But she had wings." ~ Dean Jackson

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

"As with the butterfly, adversity is necessary to build character in people." ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

"In order for the butterfly to emerge, the caterpillar that it once was must completely give up its life." ~ excerpt from MoonCat @Mother Tongue Ink 2011

"I'm still like a butterfly going from one job to another job.  But it's quite lovely - I hope to keep the freedom, to have fun." ~ Carrie Roitfeld


I've been contemplating more than usual this week; and for me, that's saying something.  I believe I've mentioned before that my employment may soon be over with Rubicon due to a merger with RBHA.  Our jobs will be phased out.  I do qualify for the job that's closest to mine except in one aspect; I am not now, nor have I ever been in recovery or have two years clean because of that.  I've heard all of the jobs are full time and I don't desire that.  I'm not bothered by these events.  I am looking forward to traveling again and creating.  I believe this is the reason for my contemplative state.  I've also been feeling sad, not because of the job but because I don't feel as if I'm being fully myself.

My thoughts turn to Earthaven at this time of year.  I miss the idea of the place....being at one with nature, growing food, and living in community. I'm not planning to return there but maybe somewhere similar?  Also, whenever I read or hear anything about Celtic lore I feel a sadness, as if I'm longing for something, someplace familiar. Sometimes it feels as if I'm losing myself but oddly enough it also feels as if I'm finding myself.  The ancient calls out to me and I wonder will happiness elude me if I don't answer?  

We are all in the state of becoming who we are, just like the caterpillar.  The caterpillar has to be a caterpillar first and be content with that state; knowing that what it presently is, is not what it will be.  Actually what it will be is already within the caterpillar; and so it is with us as well. To become a butterfly is a process that the caterpillar must endure; a process that ends with the death of the caterpillar. Does the caterpillar look forward to the death of its present self knowing what awaits?  Is the caterpillar content with being a caterpillar?  Does it dream of the day that it is not earth bound?  Does it dream of the day it will fly?  Would it rather remain in the caterpillar state only seeing the world from the ground?

It doesn't matter whether it's content or not. life and nature will run its natural course.  Is it that way for us as well?  Will we be what we are destined to be?  Will it take more than one lifetime for it to happen, if we don't listen?  Some of us dream of soaring and some of us are content with a ground view.  Is that a destiny too, to be earth bound?  I suppose it is, for there are chickens and there are eagles.  An eagle raised with chickens will look to the heavens and feel as if it doesn't belong.  One day it may spread its wings and soar. But there is always the possibility of the chickens telling the eagle that it is foolish and can not fly.  The sad thing is, the eagle may listen and not find its true self/life.  

Every ending is also a beginning.  It may be an unknown beginning but a beginning none the less.  Every ending is a death of some sort. Life is possible after death albeit a different life than one knew previously.  What an adventure we creatures have awaiting us! Something must end in order for something else to emerge.  We don't know what that might be but isn't that the thrilling part?  Mysteries, I've always loved them and I probably always will.  What awaits on the other side of the door?  What's next on the agenda of my life, our lives?  I don't know.  What freedom and what fun!

Until next Sunday, (LOL maybe)
Merry part and merry meet again,
Blessed be,
Gypsi Mama Michelle