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Sunday, June 5, 2016

Richmond, VA/Restlesness

Merry meet Friends!
Michelle here, bringing lots of love and light!

"Wild things have restless wings that often need to fly." ~ Michael Xavier

"It all takes time and lessons and places, but I'm learning to listen to my restless heart, telling me to 'go, go,go'!" ~ Charlotte Eriksson, Another Vagabond Lost to Love:Berlin Stories on Leaving and Arriving

"I suppose what I really am is restless.  I want to go everywhere, see everything, do everything.  I want to find something. Yes, that's it, I want to find something." ~ Agatha Christie, Endless Night

"For my soul lies dormant, restless, waiting for that moment when shackles are cast aside and it is free to fly once more." ~ Virginia Alison

"My restless roaming spirit would not allow me to remain at home very long." ~ Buffalo Bill

"I am restless.  I don't mind leaving this comfortable, static life.  I could live a year on my own in a remote village." ~ Michael Palin

Restless AGAIN!  It never leaves though, it just sits quietly in disguise waiting for me to acknowledge it.  I always felt that something had to be wrong with me because I never seemed satisfied in one place for very long.  I can identify with Buffalo Bill in the above quote.  All of the quotes express how I feel.  I always feel that there is more; more to see, more to do, more to find.  I can practice acceptance of current situations but acceptance does not mean satisfaction.

There is a longing in me and I'm not always sure for what I am longing.  It is so intense sometimes that I feel very sad.  Charlotte Eriksson expresses it best in the above quote; "I am learning to listen to my restless heart telling me to go, go, go!"  I know that I take myself with me wherever I go but it's not me I'm trying to avoid.  Actually, I'm not trying to avoid anything, anyone or any place.  I just want new adventures.  Is that wrong?  Is it a lack of maturity to want to be free?

Some years ago in the nineties, I attended a prophetic conference. The prophet spoke to me and compared me to an eagle.  He said eagles have the ability to see miles ahead; they fly high above the storm and know it's coming.  The prophet was prophesying that I am a prophet.  I researched eagles because I wanted to know more about them.  What I didn't identify with was the wild nature of the eagle.  I don't understand why I didn't since there is a wildness in me.  I think it was because I was in a charismatic church at the time and while it was accepted to be wild in the spirit, it wasn't so much in general.  I'm speaking of wild like horses, free to run and be.

When I read the quote about "wild things having restless wings", I thought about the eagle again.  Eagles need to fly and so do I.  The shackles that bind me now are a job and an apartment.  The time for the job to end keeps getting pushed back.  Lease is up in September and I really think I am going to spread my wings and fly wherever Spirit leads.  There are many ways to travel on a budget and I intend to take advantage of them.  I've said all of this before. Sometimes we have to keep telling ourselves a thing until it becomes more than words.  

My daughter's wedding will be over at the end of July and I won't be needed in the same way.  The wonderful thing about children becoming adults is that parenting is entirely different.  I am grateful for that.  I enjoyed their childhood but I have never wished for them to be children again.  Life goes on.  They must live their lives and I will live mine albeit possibly not anywhere close.  We shall see.  

Distant lands, different cultures, exotic foods all beckon and I wish to experience each one.  Apparently Spirit/Creator had a purpose in mind when I made my physical appearance.  Spirit knew I would be this way, and Spirit wants to know itself as me, which is an expression of itself.  I no longer think there is anything wrong with me being who I am and the way that I am.  As India Ari says, "I know my Creator didn't make no mistakes on me.  My hips, my eyes, my lips, my thighs, I'm loving what I see."  That goes for my mind and restless spirit too!  Thank you GOD/GODDESS/ALL THAT IS for making me, me!  And I give thanks and gratitude for all of the individuals that Creator is expressing as.  Let Spirit express through you, as you, for what else can it do!?  

Until next Sunday,
Merry part and merry meet again,
Blessed be!
Gypsi Mama Michelle

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