Merry meet Friends,
Michelle here, bringing lots of love and light!
"We grow in life to greater emotional and moral stature, not because of what we think we know, but because of what we know we don't." ~ Joan Chittister, The Sacred In-Between
I sometimes joke and say that my sister and I knew our astrological signs before we knew our names. Of course, we didn't, but it felt that way because our mother was always talking about the signs. She was not as heavily into it as I once thought, because for years I thought that I was a Capricorn. My mother based my sign on my birthday, December 22nd, and most books agree. However in the late 1990's I had my chart done and found out that at the time of my birth, the sun was still in Sagittarius. My moon is in Gemini and my rising is Scorpio. Those all feel like me and so I agree with the chart. The stars have spoken!
The reason that I bring this up is because one of the things my mother used to say to me about Capricorns, is that they have a slow start in life. Capricorn's symbol is the Mountain Goat and is always shown climbing a mountain; a steady but slow climb, none the less. My mother said that I would not reach any goals until later in life. She also said, when my Scorpio daughter was born, that Scorpios aren't passionate. We ALL know that isn't true! I am not condemning my mother. She did the best she could with the knowledge she had. However, in listening to her, I believe that I self-sabotaged often in my life. I would have a multitude of ideas; some expressed and some not, but I seemed to always find a way to not bring them to fruition.
I expect to live for awhile but I have no desire to continue to place my dreams on hold, even if I were a Capricorn. Langston Hughes said, "What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun, or fester like a sore and then run?" I've held up my dreams for too long out of fear and also thinking I had to wait for some later date. Well, later is here and I am ready to move forward. Recently, I have become Facebook friends with several women from Haiti. The majority of them are so talented and creative and are living their dreams. I believe, because we all are created in the image of The Creator, that we are all creative. However, some of us act on it and some of us do not. These sisters from my father's homeland are inspiring me to do, be and live more. I, too, am Haiti (Ayiti)! Creating, whether it is writing, painting, sewing, crocheting, is in my blood. My father was extremely good with his hands. He made my crib and other furniture pieces as well. I love to create.
On my mother's side, creativity reigns as well with all of the above named items. In addition from my mother's side, I have acquired the passion for nature, the earth and helping women. I realize that I do not have to choose one thing and be done. I can focus on something to start and then expand. I could also allow some things to be hobbies. I like so many things, which is why the issue for me has always been to get grounded enough to focus on what truly gets me passionate. I always wanted to combine it all. Now, hopefully, I am learning to relax, release and go with the flow. I am so ready to express my innermost self. If you #don'tbelievemejustwatch. LOL!
Monday the 2nd, I did not go out for a "chat and chew" in Harlem with my friend Sonya, because it snowed on Sunday and she also had an appointment added to her already busy schedule. The snow melted very quickly so I decided to take a trip to 125th Street to an African store. Have you ever seen something in a store you wanted but for whatever reason, not get it? Then it haunts you afterwards and you berate yourself for not getting it? That's what happened to me regarding some pants which is why I went back on Monday. On Tuesday the 3rd, I went into Brooklyn to meet my friend Iliana for another manicure. This time we went to the cheaper place which costs $6. Since I was in the neighborhood, I went to the natural food store to pick up a few items. It started snowing just as I was getting off the train. This snow came down very quickly and covered things just as quickly. Did I bring the snow, I wonder?, because it snowed for most of my visit.
I booked a bus ticket to return to Richmond on Wednesday the 4th. Jason and I took a taxi to the bus station which costs $25. We get there and the attendant said that all buses to Richmond had been cancelled. It was not raining or snowing in NY or Richmond, so Why? We took the train back to his apartment. Later that night it began to snow in NY and later the next day in Richmond. No buses ran on Thursday either. Friday was unclear and since the reason I was coming to Richmond was for two doctor's appointments on Friday, I really didn't see the need to come back. My friend Alma was turning 65 on the 8th and having a party on the 7th, to which I was invited.; so yes that was a reason. My friend Millie's birthday was on the 8th as well. Greyhound was willing to exchange the ticket if I chose to travel that way. I'm not sure of refunds though.
Jason decided that I would be more comfortable on the train, which he had been trying to get me to take before I purchased the bus ticket. He purchased the train ticket for Saturday morning. He engaged the Red Cap service for me which put me on the train ahead of others. I definitely prefer the train over the bus, who wouldn't really? The train arrived in NY 30 minutes late and put me in Richmond at 6:45 instead of 5pm. After being picked up, I showered, changed and drove to Alma's party. It was great to see my friends especially since I'm not sure when I may see them again. On that note, in December of 2014 I applied for a job in Richmond as a Mental Health Technician with Rubicon. The job is a part time prn. I am able to work as much or as little as possible depending on openings in the schedule.
Friday, the 6th, while still in NY, I received a call from Rubicon HR offering me the position. I asked if I could think about it because, as stated in an earlier blog post, I'm not sure if I have the energy for this type of work anymore. I was told they needed an answer because she wanted to have an orientation on Monday the 9th. I told her that I was in NY but would be in on Saturday evening and I would attend orientation. I felt that attending would give me some insights into whether or not I wanted the job. I do know that I need additional income but I don't want to live in Richmond. Should I take the job for a few months to gain income? Is that fair to an employer? I was told once by my son Jason, that employers have no loyalty to employees if they need to let them go, so do what I need to do for me. I just remembered he said that to me two years ago. The issue is that I need a car and someplace to live. I have no problem catching the bus, but I will probably work the evening shift and I'm not standing in Highland Park at 12 midnight waiting for a bus. Decisions, decisions! I am interested in all thoughts pertaining to what could be a dilemma.
Anyway, even though this is Wednesday, I'm writing as if it's Sunday. I will let you know my decision on Sunday. I am quick to admit "what I know I don't know" as stated in the above quote. Hopefully, I am growing in greater emotional and moral stature. The past three years have been an emotional roller coaster, up, down, up, down but I will not stay down. In the words of Rumi: "You have seen my descent, now watch my rising."
Until next Sunday,
Merry part and merry meet again,
Gypsi Mama Michelle